If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our RSS feed to receive instant updates of new posts.


WARNING: The following blog was written by a professional sports writer who still doesn’t fully understand what a blog is and who also would rather watch Boy Meets World or Seinfeld before watching any sporting event except maybe the Superbowl (for the commercials) or the Reds (unless they are losing).

There is a lot of shit going down in the world of sports. The NBA had its All-Star game, which features the tallest and least sloppy basketball players from across the country. Clemens (and his wife?) allegedly used steroids, but just for better sex, so I can condone.

There are probably some awesome trades going on in baseball because that starts soon, I think. It’s not July, so the NHL should be in full swing, the longest season in sports (which I still swear overlaps…the playoffs usually have about 2 or 3 weeks left when the next season begins).

With all this excitement in the sports realm, it makes almost too much sense that I would want to talk about Justin Timberlake, Erik Estrada (the guy from “Chips”), snowboarding, and Rockband.

The rigors of sports journalism were wearing on me – small town high school and college sports far too intense – so I had to get away from the fast-paced world of deadlines and box-scores. My escape: a nice relaxing week in the fast-paced world of Los Angeles — The City of Angels, Traffic, and Homeless People.

It has always been my position that the downfall of sports can be credited to air conditioning, video games, and soccer, but now video games are taking claim on another recent downfall: music.

My first night in LA involved 18-year-old scotch, not-very-old brandy, and Rockband – the game that marks the end of musicians like Hendrix, Clapton, or Yanni. Just like with sports games, youngsters have no reason to play the real deal – be it swinging a bat, throwing a ball, or sawing on a guitar – when they can be superstars in the pixelated world of virtual reality.

I have also had another position and that is, simply put, X Games are stupid. Here are sports (I’m reluctant to call them that, but for lack of a better word) where image is more important than performance (though the NBA, influenced heavily by Hip-Hop, is getting there). Skaters wear baggy shorts (they look more like capris) that fall off their waists, and wallet chains scraping the ground, with long hair blowing in their faces on the half-pipe, sacrificing efficiency to look cool (though cool is in the eye of the beholder).

On the other hand, I went snowboarding just days after drunken Rockband, playing basketball with Simpsons animators and directors, and hitting up Zuma Beach, and I must say…it’s pretty bitching. Though I will forever be a SPORE (stupid person on rental equipment), I wouldn’t mind going more often, though I’ll need cooler and baggier gear.

My ass soar and hurting from my first attempt at snowboarding, it was time to relax and watch Ted Turner’s most prized possession. Not the Braves – they can blow me, selfish division-winning whores – but TBS…classic situational comedy at its best.

After a day of nothing but recuperating, I went to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen.

I learned something when in LA…you can’t make the joke, “Hey! That guy looks like ‘fill-in-blank.’” I did it twice and both times that person turned out to be the person they looked like. First, I pointed out a Justin Timberlake look-a-like, but before we could make fun of the look-a-like loser, we realized it actually was Justin Timberlake – we were forced to make fun the actual loser.

A few moments later I was ready to razz an Erik Estrada look-a-like. “That guy looks like the guy from Chips,” I said, “Let us commence the fun-making!” But lo, it really was the guy from Chips. While waiting for our cars at the valet, I actually talked to JT. He was kind of standoffish, but his body guard or personal large black man was kind and funny.

Two weeks before I got out there to LA, my brother met and hung out with my dream girl from when I was 12, Danielle Fishel (Topanga from Boy Meets World). I, on the other hand, was stuck with JT.

In closing, the following things suck: Soccer, Justin Timberlake, X Games, Roger Clemens, Soccer, the Braves, Traffic, Scientology, Soccer, the NBA, Ted Turner, and the Patriots.

The Pete

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to subscribe to our RSS feed to receive instant updates of new posts.

Rate this:
2.5

If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy these related posts: