| 09 February 2010
Fake (Sports) News; Real Funny
MIAMI, FL – It seems for the first time in years, according to a new poll, the country’s majority of Commercial Enthusiasts, disinterested in this year’s advertisers who made it to the Big Ad Bowl, tuned in just to watch the small breaks of football aired in between minutes of inane commercials.
“Usually every year we have a Super Bowl Commercials party,” said ad fan Jon Killian. “But this year there wasn’t much interest. We didn’t have the party. Me and my wife turned the commercials on but kept them on mute until the football breaks came on.”
According to the poll, only 12% of those watching the Super Bowl Commercials were interested in the commercials themselves – and more than half of those were mothers of ad men and women who had hands in creating ads.
Whereas in the past most viewers watched the Super Bowl Commercials with large groups of friends and co-workers, each sporting their favorite consumer products and apparel, this year saw a drastic decline in advertisement excitement – mostly due to “terrible, terrible commercials and not on-field dramatics of sports legends,” the report said.
“The football was a good time to discuss our favorite commercials and to grab more chips,” said Dawn Chubbs. “The guacamole dip was very popular. This year, though, we found ourselves apathetic towards the Commercials and more interested in the football. The guacamole was still fairly popular, though.”
“I used to think to myself, ‘Where do they get this stuff?’” said Arnold Hill. “Talking babies, talking frogs, talking monkeys. Brilliant! They could make almost anything talk. But this year, I don’t know, it was just the same old. Budweiser, Doritos, Coke. They are in it every year. Who cares anymore?”
“I’m a lifelong Pepsi fan,” said Paul Scott, a lifelong Pepsi fan. “My dad was a Pepsi fan. His dad was a Pepsi fan. And Pepsi wasn’t even in it this year. What’s the point? Yeah, I watched the Commercials, but more for the game, really. Pepsi is in my blood.”
Scott added, “Which is incredibly dangerous. I really should see a doctor.”
Though many of this year’s viewers found the Super Bowl Commercial’s football game to be very creative and original, some criticized it for being a bit repetitive and for promoting violence against large pro athletes. Others claim that though the football was pretty good, it lacked talking babies and animals.
“It was just low-brow and violent,” said doctor of psychology Dr. Greg Home. “Can’t a football game not resort to big hits and tackles to attract viewers? We’ve come to a point in society where we can’t even see wholesome sports in between our once-entertaining calls to consume and consume and consume.”
Contributor Peter Alan Herbert – “Writer Dude” – is a master of flapdoodle and rigmarole. You can catch more of his Fake (Sports) News, Real Funny, short stories, rants, and other musings at www.peteralanherbert.com. Stay tuned to The Blue Workhorse for more from the Writer Dude.
