PORTLAND, OR – The courageous tear-filled confession of St. Louis Cardinal slugger Mark McGwire, a shocking and public admission to having taken performance- and ratings-enhancing drugs, has inspired the sky to follow suit, and at long last, admit that it is, indeed, blue.
“It’s been tearing me up inside,” the sky said in an intense four-part interview with Barbara Walters. “And then I saw the interview with that hero of a man [McGwire], who, out of nowhere, with no pressure but the sting of his own guilt, stunned us all with the biggest bomb dropped on the history of sports. He did steroids.”
Added the sky, “And I am blue.”
Tears rained down from the sky as he made the confession and at one point the interview had to be stopped until the sky could control it’s thunderous sobs.
“It feels so good to just finally say it,” said the sky, a bright smile stealing focus from swollen, cloudy eyes. “That man [McGwire] deserves some sort of medal or shoe endorsement.”
However, if viewers thought the drama was over, they were far from truth.
In the third night of this television event, halfway through the ninth hour of the interview, grass – the sky’s childhood friend who was on set for support – barged into camera and shouted, “I’m green, I’m green, good god almighty I’m green!”
Claiming to also having been inspired by McGwire’s “from-left-field” declaration of guilt, with “nary a soul even suspicious of nefarious substance abuse,” grass embraced sky in a brotherly hug as both relished in their own confession of color.
Interviewer Walters could only look on in amazement and admiration.
“I couldn’t sit back and just watch sky do this alone. I am green and proud,” said grass. “And I’m gay.”
The moving words of the home run hitter McGwire, which really really did come from out of the blue, did more than inspire the sky and grass…but stirred the country into action – turning the world upside up.
Ducks are now walking and talking like ducks. The sun is now rising in the east and setting in the west. And now there has even been a sparked interest in a new study, which discovered that men like breasts.
“God bless you, Mark McGwire,” said the sky, in closing. “God bless you, everyone.”
Contributor Peter Alan Herbert – “Writer Dude” – is a master of flapdoodle and rigmarole. You can catch more of his Fake News, Real Funny, short stories, rants, and other musings at www.peteralanherbert.com. Stay tuned to The Blue Workhorse for more from the Writer Dude.
University of Tennessee football fans, take a deep breath.
Okay, look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t see this coming. If you didn’t, you may want to get your eyes checked ASAP because you really might be blinded by orange kool-aid. Lane Kiffin's departure and the state he is leaving the program in should not come as a surprise to anyone. If fact, I told you not to get excited over Lane Kiffin. The only thing that can be done now is for the right hire to be made that will sort out this mess and be able to take Tennessee back to national prominence.
Kiffin left because he is not a Tennessee guy, and it is a heck of a lot easier to win at USC than it is at the University of Tennessee. He took the Tennessee job because Athletic Director Mike Hamilton was the only major college AD that would take a chance on an unproven guy who was fired from his last job before the halfway point of the season. It probably does not help that his wife would rather be tanning year round in sunny SoCal rather than seeing what kind of specials Big Ed’s pizza has that day.
In the end, Kiffin saw Tennessee as a stepping stone. Unfortunately, for Big Orange fans, he left this stepping stone worse off than he found it.
The top recruiting class Kiffin and his staff put together probably will not stick. There is not really another hot name in coaching that could get the bulk of the commitments to firm up their commitment over the next three week period before Signing Day. The program reported six minor violations in the brief, but controversial Kiffin era, and I would not be surprised if more serious allegations are levied against the program in the next year or two. Kiffin embarrassed the program and the University of Tennessee with some of his comments during his tenure and has left those behind scurrying to find answers while he is west coast bound.
Finding the best answer in a bad situation needs to be the focus of Mike Hamilton and the university, at this point. The following are some names that I have heard floating, but I do not think will work for a variety of reasons:
Tony Dungy – I think you have to coach with an edge at Tennessee. Also, the assistants he had at Indianapolis are not going to be coaching much longer, so who would he hire?
Bill Cowher – He has turned down multiple NFL jobs, and I do not see him thinking Knoxville, Tennessee is the perfect place to restart his career. Once again, who would he hire?
Chris Peterson – Scientology would not be a good fit in the Bible Belt. Great coach but not a good fit.
Will Muschamp – Young and energetic coach that Texas seems comfortable handing the reins to when Mack Brown leaves. We highlighted Muschamp last year as a possible long-term solution, however, he seems too emotional on the sidelines, and his defense of athletic freaks was shredded against a bland Alabama offense.
My Top 3
Jeff Fisher – Proven Coach. Run-ins with the owner over personnel (Vince Young) and a need for a slight change of scenery might lure him away from the Titans. His smash mouth disciplined brand of football would be a good fit for Tennessee. He is also able to maximize the potential of players, which would offset the challenge of recruiting someone to Knoxville.
Gary Patterson – Built a program at a place very similar to Knoxville. He is a proven winner. While Patterson might not look to make this his permanent home, he would stay longer than Kiffin, and it seems that he has run a clean program at TCU.
Jon Gruden – Super Bowl winning coach who was a UT graduate assistant early in his career. Might be walking into a Lane Kiffin situation where a guy just needs an opportunity to get back in the game and will then be looking to climb the ladder rapidly.
The biggest thing for Vol fans to remember is to be honest about the current state of Tennessee football. It is not an elite program; it is in the toughest conference; and it is not an easy place to sell to recruits.
Instead of focusing on a headline-grabbing hire, Mike Hamilton should look at the total body of work and select the person who can win despite the challenges listed above and above all else not embarrass the University of Tennessee and its football program.
After news spread that Lane Kiffin was set to leave the University of Tennessee for southern California to return to take over the head coaching position vacated by Pete Carroll, Kiffin held a short press conference. Showed no remorse for his quick departure after only one season as the Volunteers' coach, Kiffin stated that he was leaving the program better than when he came in.
After making claims that he was going to restore Tennessee to the national power that the university's football team was in the 1990s and that there would be "Rocky Top" being sang following a win over Florida, Kiffin departs with a 7-6 record in his only season.
Tennessee fans did not take the news well as swarms of people came to campus where Tennessee mens basketball player Renaldo Woolridge (@Swiperboy) relayed a riotous scene through Twitter. From his Gibbs Hall balcony, which is near the football complex where Kiffin's press conference took place, Woolridge said that fans were rioting and police officers were everywhere. Among other things, Woolridge tweeted that the mob was chanting "F*** You Kiffin" and Kiffin's home address while they waited for him to come out of the complex.
When fans became unruly, Woolridge wrote "THEY JUST TEAR GASSED EVERY1!!!" Woolridge claimed there were people in the thousands, and when Kiffin tried to leave, people chased his car down the street. There were also reports and photos that surfaced of people burning mattresses and clothing that bore Lane Kiffin's name or likeness. This photo of Tennessee's rock comes from Saul Young from GoVolsXtra.com:
Among other things, Kiffin's phone number and what is believed to be his wife's phone number both appear painted on the rock.
Tennessee fans and residents of the Knoxville area also took to Facebook to voice their opinions about Lane Kiffin and the situation. Here's some of what they had to say: (WARNING: Some comments include foul language or suggest sexual acts.)
- Former St. Louis Cardinals and Oakland Athletics slugger and recently hired Cardinals' hitting coach Mark McGwire on continuing to use steroids after stating that he initially started taking them in 1994 to stay healthy and then broke down in both of the next two seasons.
Working with Kurt the CyberGuy at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas this past weekend, I was able to sit down with Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim centerfielder Torii Hunter thanks to Sharp Electronics. We discussed his favorite electronics whether he is at home, on the road, or even on the team plane and talked a little baseball.
Hunter told me what the Angels would have to do to make it to the World Series (hint: it has something to do with that pinstriped team from the Northeast) and what Major League Baseball needs to do to enhance instant replay.
For more interviews with celebrities, including my interview with Prince Fielder, and an inside look at some of the coolest new gadgets to be displayed at CES, check out Curt the CyberGuy's YouTube channel.
***Special thanks to Kevin Lu for being my camera man and using multiple cameras to get two different angles.
I sat down with Milwaukee Brewers' first baseman Prince Fielder yesterday before his appearance with Sharp at the 2010 Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas and asked him about some of his favorite electronics. We also discussed using video in baseball and what clips he likes to watch.
I asked Fielder later what it would take for the Brewers to make it to the World Series this season, and he said, with a small chuckle, "If I knew, we'd already be there."
After the interview, Fielder's wife, Chanel, was really intrigued by the new, sleek Flip MinoHD handheld camera that I shot the interview on. She told her husband that the couple's two children, Jaden and Haven, would probably really like them.
For more interviews with celebrities, including my interview with Torii Hunter earlier today that will be posted tomorrow, and an inside look at some of the coolest new gadgets to be displayed at CES, check out Curt the CyberGuy's YouTube channel.
Despite having only one losing season, the Los Angeles Dodgers only made four postseason trips this decade. After coming up short to the NL West powerhouse San Francisco and Arizona teams at the beginning of the decade, LA won at least a share of the division title four of the final six seasons.
Falling in the Division Series in their first two playoff appearances, the Dodgers swept through the Division Series the last two seasons only to be eliminated by Philadelphia in the League Championship Series.
C - Russell Martin
A very tough call here between Russell Martin and Paul Lo Duca. Lo Duca was a great story spending year after year in the minors before getting his shot and becoming a fan favorite in his first full season. He had a six-hit game, some gritty defensive plays, and fans gave him over a minute standing ovation in his first appearance at Dodger Stadium after being traded. But the nod goes to Martin instead. Arguably the team's MVP in 2007 when he put up a solid .293/.469/.843 and stole 21 bases while playing a knee-pounding 151 games. Martin, who started the All-Star Game and won a Gold Glove in '07, was the backstop for three Dodgers' postseason teams during the latter part of the decade. Lo Duca was solid but he never made the postseason, was linked to steroids during his time in LA, and had a complete mental breakdown after he left. The Dodgers hope Martin can regain his form from '07 and be the Dodgers' catcher-of-the-next-decade as well.
1B - Shawn Green
Green had one of the best power years for any Dodgers' first baseman this decade hitting 28 home runs in 2004 (topped only by Eric Karros's 31 bombs in 2000). But Green's numbers at first base don't even begin to touch the numbers he put up in 2001 and 2002 in right field for the Dodger blue. In '01, Green hit the most home runs in a season, 49, in franchise history. He backed that season with 42 more home runs the next year. Green had a four-home run game at Miller Park in Milwaukee, hit 30+ doubles four years in a row (49 in 2003), and was very popular with nostalgic Jewish Dodger fans, who hadn't loved a player as much since Sandy Koufax. Apologies to James Loney... a brilliant defender and consistent hitter, his power numbers still haven't reached expectations.
INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- Colts fans are still up in arms over the coaches' decision to sit star QB Peyton Manning for the pre-game coin flip Sunday against the Buffalo Bills. The Colts came into the ritual, which determines who gets the ball first and which team goes toward which endzone, undefeated.
However, with Manning benched, the coin flip fell in the hands of second-string quarterback Curtis Painter. As the coin tumbled end-over-end at midfield, with a perfect regular season 16-0 record on the line, Painter made an unprecedented "It'll Land On It's Side" call.
The coin landed Tails and the perfect season came crashing down. With the stadium silent, Buffalo dramatically deferred.
"We wanted to give Peyton a rest," said Colts skipper Jim Caldwell. "We want to give ourselves the best chance to win coin flips in the playoffs and a mentally rested Manning is the way to do that."
However, Indianapolis fans are having trouble seeing beyond the immediate and are furious with the decision.
"There is no team without the fans," said Harry Fischer, longtime Colts fan. "Well, there is...but no one would watch them."
"A lot of people spent a lot of money on their tickets to see history made," said Will Conrad. "I paid over $300 myself and then the coaches go and do this. It's a slap in the face."
A perfect coin-toss season has never been achieved by any NFL team, the closest attempt coming from the 1994 Miami Dolphins. They managed to get to week 14 with a perfect record when they finally lost a flip.
"I was at [the 1994 Miami] game," said Roger Dantus, who made the 800-mile trip from Florida for another shot at witnessing perfection. "Some selfish dumbass Make-A-Wish kid wished he could call the flip and called heads. Who calls heads? Has he never heard 'Tails never fail?' What the fuck, kid."
Despite all the controversy and anger, Manning is urging the fans to keep priorities in mind, while also defending understudy Painter.
"We sit down every year before the season and set team goals," Manning said. "We set out to win as many coin tosses as we could and to make the playoffs and win coin tosses then. One coin toss at a time.
"Painter is a good ball player," Manning continued. "I told him, 'Tails. Just say Tails.' But he didn't stay within himself. Tried to do too much and we gave this one away. He is young, but in time he will be calling Tails with the best of them."
Regardless of the backlash, the Colts were vindicated somewhat when New England Patriots' captain Jerod Mayo acquired a season-ending injury during the coin flip, when an errant quarter landed on the linebacker's unprotected eye.
Contributor Peter Alan Herbert - "Writer Dude" - is a master of flapdoodle and rigmarole. You can catch more of his Fake News, Real Funny, short stories, rants, and other musings at www.peteralanherbert.com. Stay tuned to The Blue Workhorse for more from the Writer Dude.
The Minnesota Twins had a rough start to the decade beginning with the worst record in the American League in 2000, but since then they have been one of the strongest performing franchises in baseball. They've only had one losing season since 2000 and have won the American League Central division five times.
Unfortunately, besides losing in five games in 2002, they've fallen easily in the Division Series in their other four trips to the playoffs. Three of those times they lost to the Evil Empire.
C - Joe Mauer
It should be noted that A.J. Pierzynski batted .302 during the first four seasons of the decade. However, Pierzynski doesn't hold a candle to Joe Mauer's prowess as Minnesota's favorite son. Since being drafted No. 1 overall out of St. Paul's Cretin-Derham Hall High School, Minnesota fans have been in love with Mauer and he hasn't disappointed leading the league in batting three times, being named to three All-Star teams, earning three Silver Slugger awards, two Gold Gloves, and the 2009 MVP award following his 28-homer, 96-RBI season when he batted .365 with a 1.031 OPS.
Being born about 2 hours away from St. Louis and growing up a die-hard St. Louis Cardinal fan, it is my privilege to bring to you the Cardinal All Decade team. The decade was a great success for the Redbirds as they appeared in the playoffs seven times and won the 2006 World Championship.
I will never forget Adam Wainwright's emotional celebration as he fanned the final batter of the series and brought a World Championship back to St. Louis for the first time since 1982. Here is the St. Louis Cardinal All Decade Team. Comments are always welcome!
C - Yadier Molina
Yadier Molina has proved to be one of the best defensive catchers in baseball since arriving in the major leagues with St. Louis halfway through the 2004 season. He has an All-Star game appearance in 2009, won Gold Gloves in 2008 and 2009, and was an instrumental cog in the 2006 St. Louis Cardinal World Championship team. Even though Yadier is not known for his offense, he has posted batting averages of .304 and .293 the past two seasons.
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Bloguin is the revolutionary blog network specifically focused on helping bloggers get the most out of their websites. We're currently working on building a large network of online communities and hope to expand our blogging coverage to include a wide range of topics. 
The Bloguin Network allows advertisers to promote their products and services to our ever-growing number of visitors. We offer both site-specific ad placements as well as the ability to run a network-wide campaign. If you're interested in working with Bloguin to meet your advertising needs, please contact us.
The Bloguin Network is always looking to expand. We're specifically looking for blogs in the sports, entertainment, and video games field, but are open to adding any type of quality site. If you're a blogger and interested in joining our network, please fill out our application form.
The Bloguin Login gives you full access to everything our network has to offer. Your name and password will work for each and every one of our sites. Signing up is simple, and will allow you to post in all our forums, create member blogs, and access other cool features! What are you waiting for? Create an Account! 